5 Dec 2008
The most important emotional needs
Relationships often snag on parties’ emotional needs not being met. It may be boring nuts-and-bolts work to try to figure out which emotional needs are going unfulfilled, but it’s worth the effort because it may give you key information to actually remedy the situation, as opposed to just wallowing in it. When your emotional needs go unmet for a long time, your relationship may start to falter, and the love fade. If you figure out what your emotional needs are, and which ones are most important to you, you actually give your partner a chance at meeting these needs. To be fair, though, you’d have to put in some effort to meet your partner’s most important emotional needs, too!
Below is a list of major emotional needs in romantic relationships. The ones not being met will probably jump out at you. If you would like a more detailed description and/or appraisal of these major emotional needs and how they are being met by your partner, you can download a questionnaire. This questionnaire also helps you prioritize these needs and identify which ones are not being fulfilled.
Affection
A desire for the expression of warmth, caring, and love from your partner.
Sexual fulfillment
Having the kind of sexual contact that you want, when you want it, and as often as you want it.
Conversation
Good conversations are used to inform and investigate each other, talking about topics of mutual interest and are balanced between the two partners while they have each other’s undivided attention.
Recreational companionship
Doing things together that you both enjoy.
Honesty and openness
The desire for accurate information about your partner’s thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities and plans for the future.
Physical attractiveness
The desire for your partner to be physically attractive to you.
Financial support
The desire for financial security from your partner.
Domestic support
The need for a peaceful, well-managed home environment.
Family commitment
A desire for your partner to be involved in the care and education of your children.
Admiration
The desire to be affirmed by words or actions.
Adapted from www.marriagebuilders.com.
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